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pith and puissance

Basically a queer feminist theater maker who eats a lot of kale and watches too much television.
Sep 1 '14

mountainsandmochas:

one of my favorite ron swanson lines

(Source: allthingspawnee)

Sep 1 '14
"I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”"

#613: How do I reach out to my friends who have depression? | Captain Awkward

P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”

(via startrekrenegades)

SUPER GREAT ADVICE.

(via jackieisboring)

Sep 1 '14
"Florals? For Spring? Groundbreaking."
Sylvia Plath (via incorrectsylviaplathquotes)
Sep 1 '14
jackpowerx:

geekygothgirl:

The original is good, the comment is STUNNING. Love it!

So, basically, this is a symbolic representation of internalized misogyny:

jackpowerx:

geekygothgirl:

The original is good, the comment is STUNNING. Love it!

So, basically, this is a symbolic representation of internalized misogyny:

(Source: theconcealedweapon)

Sep 1 '14

1nd2rd3st:

"i can’t sleep"

"well just lie down and close your eyes"

image

Aug 31 '14

bootygrooty:

deelekgolo:

I’m still fucked up at the fact that the longest piece of English fictional literature written by any human is a super smash bros brawl fan fic.

218 chapters
3.5 million words
AND ITS STILL IN PROGRESS

Aug 24 '14
Peach, garden peach (heirloom tomatoes), lemon basil, olive oil, fig balsamic, smoked salt #salad #vegan #summer #noms

Peach, garden peach (heirloom tomatoes), lemon basil, olive oil, fig balsamic, smoked salt #salad #vegan #summer #noms

Aug 21 '14
This $2 🍆 is too big to fit in the frame.

This $2 🍆 is too big to fit in the frame.

Aug 19 '14
Aug 19 '14
rosalarian:

softboycollective:

thebluelip-blondie:

my white protesters please remember that you’re rarely at the same risk we are when you stand up for what is right

I’m not gonna stop reblogging these reminders

As hard as it is for white people to take a stand, realize we have it so much easier than others.

rosalarian:

softboycollective:

thebluelip-blondie:

my white protesters please remember that you’re rarely at the same risk we are when you stand up for what is right

I’m not gonna stop reblogging these reminders

As hard as it is for white people to take a stand, realize we have it so much easier than others.

(Source: cartoonpolitics)

Aug 19 '14

aconnormanning:

"So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality"

Actual idol

(Source: embraceyourboing)

Aug 19 '14

Update on YouTube Sexual Abuse

italktosnakes:

regularusername0409:

In March of this year I threw a grenade into the Nerdfighter/YouTube community. As difficult as the aftermath has been, I’m proud of myself and of my friends for speaking up and I’m thankful to all of you have been standing with me and supporting me through this. I would truly be lost without you guys.
 
The reason I’m rehashing all of this is because I’ve seen a great number of posts wondering why the discussion of Internet-related sexual abuse / fan-creator power dynamics has dwindled off. I’ve noticed it too! There was a lot of productive discourse happening immediately following the accusations, but not so much now. I guess that first thing I want to say is that many of the accused male YouTubers are planning, consciously or subconsciously, to make comebacks when the social climate feels safe enough to do so. How do we prevent this from happening? Continue talking about it. Let them know we have not forgotten.
 
I’d like to give an update on a few of these dudes so that we’re all aware of where things currently stand. I’ll start with my own personal situation.
 
First, I’d like to tell you all something that I didn’t mention in my first post about Alex. When the Tom Milsom news broke, I immediately thought of Alex and began to feel guilty for not having said anything about my experiences with him up to that point (feelings that would lead me to writing my initial post).
The day I read about Tom Milsom, I texted Alex. I asked him if he was nervous about being accused of similar things - he said no. Don’t believe me? Here’s screencaps of the conversation, including some additional fucked up comments he made about sexual assault / rape. I want it to be known that Alex didn’t think anything he’d done was wrong until we spoke up about it. He only ever apologized to me after my initial post. 
imageimage

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Since March, Alex hasn’t been active online other than liking posts on Facebook and favoriting tweets. This is the best possible scenario in my mind. He shouldn’t come back to YouTube. His presence is a trigger to anyone who’s had a similar experience and to make himself present on the very same platform he used to manipulate many, many girls would be self-serving and detrimental to a lot of people. Although he hasn’t been present online, he’s been reaching out to many of his victims via text, asking them to talk and apologizing to them. I hope everyone sees how invasive it is for him to do that. If I were to text Alex (which I have), THEN it would be appropriate for him to respond and initiate conversation. To inject yourself into the life of someone you assaulted (or worse) is inappropriate, inconsiderate, and harmful. 
Unfortunately, many of the other accused YouTubers are doing worse things. Ed Plant has been very active on YouTube. He posted an apology song awhile back and another video just today. Again, I want to emphasize how inappropriate it is for these men to return to a platform they abused. A comeback on YouTube is selfish. It helps no one but the abuser. No matter how many fans continue to blindly follow them and beg them to make videos again, their wants will never surmount the absolutely necessary need (for the victims’ sake) for these men to stay off YouTube…forever. 
Alex Day has been pretty quiet…except on Reddit. Alex has been posting frequently about false accusations and how people don’t know “his side of the story”, even though he wrote a post admitting fault. His comments are extremely manipulative. He’s said, “I found three (posts) where people said they felt manipulated into sexual things” and “But unfortunately, when people see ‘there have been fifteen accounts’, they don’t bother reading them.” Basically, he’s not denying the fact that he sexually manipulated at least three people, but at least it wasn’t 15 people! Right?? No, not right, Alex. Then, he said that he only ever wrote the admission of fault post to see if it would calm everyone down. So, he says he’s lying, but would like us all to believe he isn’t lying now. Frankly, this whole “you need both sides of the story” nonsense is…nonsense. It’s absurd to think we don’t know enough when, yes - three people say they’ve been sexually abused, 13 or so other girls say he was (at least) inappropriate with them, and even his very best friend is unable to take his side on this. 
Let’s move on to Luke Conard, who I probably have the most personal experience with after Alex C.. Luke’s been mostly quiet since he was outed as a manipulative, cheating asshole (except for that early tweet where he said he would “be back soon!”). Recently he’s begun posting on Twitter and Instagram. The worrisome thing about Luke is that his fans want him back badly. A return to YouTube is not only probable, but also likely to go off without a hitch. Unless, maybe, we keep talking about this. The scary thing about Luke (as opposed to these other men) is that he’s, without a doubt, a sociopath. I’m saying this as someone who spent a great deal of time with Luke in his home, at conventions, and on tour - not to mention I’m very close to the women he’s been a dick to. Luke has no remorse for the pain he’s caused. He’s not sorry. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong. And he literally does nothing that doesn’t directly benefit #1 (himself). 
image
A prime example of this is the fact that he bought a puppy to sway people into feeling kindly about him. I know this sounds like a leap of my imagination, but I can’t stress to you how classically Luke it is for him to have bought a puppy for the sole purpose of getting his fanbase to accept him. Notice how the only posts he’s made since March have been about him being in the hospital and about his new puppy? He is out for sympathy and he is receiving it. Meanwhile, he’s deleting negative posts about him on all platforms, blocking people, and even threatening those who are too outspoken. How much guiltier can you get?
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So many of you will send me disgusting anonymous messages, tell me I’m out for attention, tell me I’m making something out of nothing, or maybe even tell me that these men are “just trying to live their lives” or that you STILL “don’t know the full story”. Honestly, I don’t have time for you anymore. I hope you know you are slowing down necessary change and your support towards these men is a detriment to many people’s well being. This conversation needs to continue. We really can’t let these men get away with it and continue living the lives they had before. They have to move on and not be present in places where their victims will see them. Keep talking.

I am so indebted to Sarah for being able to talk so openly about this stuff when I am, even months later (years, really) still afraid Luke might retaliate at me in some way if I make an outward effort to continue the discussion.

But we must continue the discussion - for ourselves, for the others out there that need our support, and to keep these toxic people away from our community.

This isn’t “over”. We aren’t “past the drama”. This is an ongoing issue we need to talk about and educate people on. We can’t let this happen again. We can’t let them continue to profit off a community they took advantage of. As Sarah said, please keep talking. Please keep reading. Please keep fighting to keep YouTube (and yourselves and the Internet and the world) a little bit safer.

Aug 18 '14
Thinking about Ava today. Temporary tattoos are stupid and comforting

Thinking about Ava today. Temporary tattoos are stupid and comforting

Aug 15 '14

(Source: paxamericana)

Aug 5 '14
"Forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not. Habit will help you finish and polish your stories. Inspiration won’t. Habit in persistence in practice."
Octavia Butler (via inspired-to-write)